kaaos

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olisin  kai kaaos ilman

mä tuskin tiedän enää mitään matematiikasta

mutta jotkut laskut tulevat täysin luonnostaan

oon viimeaikoina voinut pahoin
mutta tavallaan nautin tästä.

I knew, by then, that I had a problem. I knew it in the way that alcoholics know in the back of their brain that they have a problem. They know, but they don’t believe it’s out of control. The convenience in having an eating disorder is that you believe, by definition, that your eating disorder cannot get out of control, because it is control. It is, you believe, your only means of control, so how could it possibly control you?

                                                                             - Marya Hornbacher, Wasted